Diary of an Intern

Quote me: “seriously if I get a job at a publishing house and am forced to read an epic I’m gonna mcfreakin lose it” xoxo


Today marks the first week of my internship at a literary magazine (I’m l i v i n g!) where I am an assistant editor. Well, maybe not my first full week, as I started yesterday, June 1st, but there was a lot of work to be done and I haven’t seen the sun so I’m counting it as a week.

I expected my first day to consist of writing a book review or an article that contains detailed info to make an author’s life less hellish, maybe read some submissions and activate my account. That would’ve been too easy. Instead, on the first day, I was assigned to read approximately 180 submission. Not only that, but I had to review each of them!!! On top of that, I also had to write a book review!!


I’m just kidding, it wasn’t too much of a laborious task and I enjoyed doing it. I finished with the poetry submissions yesterday and the short stories today, and honestly… I got attached to a few pieces from each pile. I don’t know what I expected the poetry submissions to look like, but some of them blew me out of the water. There was one submission, for example, written by a 70-year-old Dutch woman who has lived in Spain for the past 30 years, and it was literally the best poem I ever read. Hands down, THE BEST. I hope my editor-in-chief chooses to publish it—fingers crossed. I gave it a good review.

If some of the good ones aren’t published, I’ll write a ballad titled “Where Do All The Rejected But Reasonably Tasteful Literary Submissions Go?” in their honor.

The short story submissions have been another endeavor. Many of them are interesting and creative, but let me disclose the absolute bonkers ones:

  1. Esteemed author dkdd dk submitted one story, but wasn’t too sure what to call it, so they submitted two titles. Their piece “ProductLicenseAgreement.txt,” also named “dkdkdk” was unopened due to myself being a smart person. Let me tell you a little about our dear dkdd dk, though. They are at least 13 years old or older, and enjoy writing fiction. They’re a little shy, seeing as they only revealed the following about themselves: djdkddkd d. Such a way with words, don’t you agree?
  2. eileenk has been writing erotica for who knows how long. She is at least 13 years old and can be reached at facebook.com. Her story “Textures-Important-TIPS-and-Tuts.txt” also named “test 1 for gf issues” is sure to drag you, the reader, on an emotional journey to hell and back. A little about eileenk, as she narrates herself: fdfdfdfdfv ggfhh hrth h rheg rer g.”
  3. Shoutout to the guy who’s edits can be viewed in the margins of the word doc.

Many other submissions are outstanding, however.

Lastly, I’ve just finished my first book review (and hopefully not my last) for this internship, on my favorite novel, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. It’s being reviewed by the admin at the moment otherwise I’d link it. I even learned how to edit the snippet you’ll see on Google if you just so happen to search for some key terms and my article pops up as a result!! Again, I’m living.

There have been a few other bumps in the road, the biggest one being that my profile picture on my internship page wants to either be upside down or sideways. Still, this is exactly what I asked for (to be upside down and defy gravity, I mean 😉 ). Plus, I’m happy to work with a team of people who love literature, from poetry to short stories to full blown novels (NO EPICS. NO. EPICS.) as much as I do.

HEY ALSO I’ve even learned a few italian words this past semester that I can incorporate into my work:

  • pubblicare = to publish
  • l’editoria = publishing industry
  • la stampa = press
  • il racconto = short story
  • il racconto epico = epic (seriously if I get a job at a publishing house and am forced to read an epic I’m gonna mcfreakin lose it)
  • il libro = book
  • il poeta = male poet
  • la poetessa = female poet
  • l’autore/lo scrittore = male novelist
  • l’autrice/la scrittrice = female novelist
  • il romanzo = novel
  • la favola = fairy tale

With love, Alyssa

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